that's life..!!

Going insane...

2008-06-08T22:45:00.000-07:00

Wandering alone, living to die
Unable to breath, however I try
Shattering my heart, killing my soul
Facing the truth, how do I lie?

Searching for love, meaning of life
Losing myself in endless strife
Groping in dark, writhing in pain
(It) Pierces my heart, cuts like a knife

Cannot walk out, cannot sustain
Fighting hard, but seems all in vain
Love is real or mere mirage
Craving n parching, going insane

Love Bloom

2008-06-03T04:13:00.000-07:00

I never realized how fast those nine months slipped away and the day arrived when Richa was admitted to hospital for delivery. What a day it was! Rains started beating very hard from the very moment she got admitted out of no where. It seemed as if heavens were no less excited than I was. In fact it was not only excitement rather a mix of anxiety, curiosity, joy & expectation.

Firstly she was induced for contractions to go for a normal delivery. It was expected that if contractions started properly, the birth would take place within few hours. We waited and waited for at least 6 hours but to no avail. Richa didn’t feel the requisite contractions. But those few hours were equally exciting none the less.

The doctor suggested to go for cesar as the BP of Richa was going up & the heart-beat graph of baby was not very favorable. We were already prepared mentally that if things didn’t go properly we would go for cesar without hesitation. However, before we realized, the nurse took my consent and shifted Richa on to stretcher to take her to the Operation Theater. It happened so fast that we were all taken by surprise. I was on my phone when Richa waved me from the stretcher telling she was going to OT. I was so shocked that I didn’t have words to comfort or support her in such crucial moment of her life. Things that were moving very comfortably a few moments back had suddenly started moving at a dizzying pace. And in seconds, before I could recover, she was gone, out of my sight and into the Operation Theater!!

I have never felt so helpless & drained as if falling into an abysmal chasm. Perspiration had drenched my shirt, heart was pounding, head was thudding and my whole body was shivering with some unknown fear. Every passing moment was a torture and the pain was excruciating. Prayers automatically started emanating from within. Moments passed like aeons. Tension reached its crescendo. And then, in came the news of birth of my Baby boy and welfare of Richa. It was such an overwhelming feeling which couldn’t be put into words.

I was dying to meet Richa & my lovely son. It took another hour or so before the nurse came out with my baby tucked in her arms. She was rushing towards the nursery and I was following her desperately to take a look at my bundle of joy. Finally she stopped at the nursery and put the baby in my lap. What a charming face it was! Calm and gentle. I saw its tiny hands, fingers & beautiful lips. It was such an exhilarating feeling to see another you. Its fingers resembled mine and its cheeks that of Richa, a perfect blend of two of us. I wanted to hold it for eternity but the nurse took it away from me to put it in the incubator leaving me parched & thirsty.

I rushed to recovery section to see Richa and tell her all about our son. But she was still in OT. After half an hour later she was shifted in recovery and I was allowed to meet her. She was semi conscious and was hardly able to speak with that oxygen mask on. But still she looked beautiful. She cried when she saw me and I just managed to hold my tears. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. Anybody could see our eyes and tell how much we loved each other. We really do!

It was still raining. But now they resembled the tears of joy and strings of love that bind our lives to completeness.

Another partition..

2007-06-04T00:14:00.000-07:00

Isn't it heartening to see the clashes between Guzzars & Meenas, the roadblocks, the huge loses of public property & unwanted deaths of so many people? And what for? To prove that they are more down trodden than the other community by dominating others in terms of brawn & violance? What a shame! But i rather like it in a way..coz it is the only way to show our politician how they have ruined our nation & divided it into so many pieces in the name of caste/tribe/region/religion..In their lust for power & vested interestes they have so much so damaged our country that we no longer believe in talent rather all we want is shortcut to success i.e. reservation..Everybody wants reservation, be it muslims, christians, lower cast, anybody..!!Isn't it good that we remove the whole general category & reserve all vacancies in terms of caste/tribe/region/religion only..?

I read a wonderful comment on this issue on rediff today, which says that if reservations are so much necessary for the upliftment, then we must do it in sports also..And specially in Cricket which is sort of a national game..There must be at least two OBCs, 2 SCs & one ST player in the team..The rest may be taken from general category..The boundary for the reserved players must be reduced so that they may field well & while batting they may hit fours & sixes in easier manner..They must also be granted a centuary for every 60 runs they score..Bowlers shouldn't be allowed to bowl at more than 60 miles/hour at them..Those who bowl more than that may be banned from bowling by BCCI..What a wonderful thought! Our sports minister must consider this..

I truly wish that every community raise their voices at this point of time and fight for reservations..After all its a democratic nation and all are free to voice for their rights..So guys, wake up & show ur strength to prove how down trodden u r..Thats the only way out left for us in this god forsaken country!!

Its show time again..

2007-05-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

Three movies in rather quick succession..But full paisa wasool..! Firstly let me tell u that Will Smith is one of the finest actors, Hollywood has ever produced..God only knows why he lost it to Forest Whitaker despite his best ever performance in "The pursuit of happyness"..His portrayal of Chris Gardner is so complete & perfect that its beyond words to express your feelings once u watch that movie..Never before an english movie has shown so much depth in the portrayal of human emotions & spirit as this one..Its one hell of a touching & emotional movie which has rocked my mind & soul completely..Truly awesome..Anybody who even remotely likes to watch movies must watch this one..Its indeed worth it!!
Life in a..METRO is another movie which can be watched just for the sheer performances of all its actors..May be the story is full of clichés & at times turns a bit monotonous also..But it still manages to keep u glued to ur seats..Kokana Sen Sharma is one actor who can play any goddamn role to its perfection..Irfan Khan is a class act..Truly in the league of Nasiruddin Shah & Om Puri..K.K.Menon playing the role of typical MCP does it again..Brilliant is all i can say..Shiney Ahuja has a very small role but he still manages to grab ur attention..Sharman Joshi has also done pretty well in his role of a palm greaser & opportunist but a good at heart, ambitious BPO guy..Kangana Ranaut looked very cute but needs to learn more acting skills..But the most surprising element of the movie was the performance of Shilpa Shetty who looked amazing & has done a very fabulous job..Dharam Paji playing stupid cupid with Nafisa Joseph looked rather funny..However, the three singers who keep on appearing every now and then in their beggar-like-garbs definitely tickle ur funny bones in this rather serious movie.. One time watch wouldn’t be a torture!
Now comes the third one..Its different..To begin with Amitabh Bacchan is really getting younger with every passing day..His performance in Cheeni Kam is reallly refreshing..The chemistry between Tabu & Big B is wonderful..The story line is fresh & has a very new approach towards its portrayal of its characters.. It shows no frets or makes no bone about subjects like sex or the age gap between the male & female leads of the movie..The approach is practical & mature..It shows alot of sensibility & looks in line with the changing society..But i somehow didn't like the performance of Paresh Rawel..He somehow has started to look very typical & his acting seems to have lost its sheen..The child actress was however brilliant..She has done a fabulous job & really deserves all the accolades she is receiving..Overall a good movie with a difference..!

So unfortunate..!

2007-05-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

It was all going very fine..but the deep seated insecurity & jealousy of one person brought havoc in our beautifully crafted life..The artificial, false & shallow affection and respect proved to be so strong & effective that the elders of my family couldn't see through it the truth, the real love & affection of us..It so much amazes me, how our elders with so much experience of various relationships, it’s intricacies can't understand how to develop & nourish a new relationship..Why is it so that they judge a person by the views presented to them by others when they themselves have all the opportunity to understand and judge the same person in light of his/her own action..!
Its so disappointing to see your own elders behave so childishly with so much immaturity..May be they don't realize that the kids are now grown-ups, they should be given proper space & due respect.. or may be they are just not ready to share their son with another person whom he loves so much..But my point is, if the son is able to impart the same amount of love, affection, respect & care to everybody as he used to do before marriage then why this insecurity? Does this make it any better if they keep hurting the emotions of their own beloved son & expect at the same time that he remains happy?
Why is it so that their love & affection don't reach our heart? Why does it all remain superficial & verbal only? Have we become so numb & insensitive that we can't feel it or is it something so different that we can't comprehend it?
May be the only person who is still happy with all these proceedings, is the one who out of her own insecurities & jealousy destroyed the peace & sanctity of our family? I can't understand how someone can remain happy by destroying her own family for the sake of her own vested interests..What a sickening feeling it must be but it seems some people do enjoy such things for their vicarious pleasures..
Its already a very tough time for all of us..and these misunderstandings & immature behavior by our elders make it even worse..Rather than focusing on the present imminent problem and supporting each other in these tough times, they are wasting their energy into picking faults, throwing allegations & hating their own family member..
All I wish is that good sense prevails soon or everything will be lost irrevocably!!

Duty of Election without selection!!

2007-04-21T01:16:00.003-07:00

What an experience!! For the first time in my life, i was actually involved into the democratic process of electing our leaders..The leaders whom i sincerely detest & see them as stigma on the forehead of our Nation..It was the Assembly elections of Uttar Pradesh..!!

It had never occurred in my remotest thoughts that i would ever be put into such precarious position..The guy who didn't cast a single vote was expected to preside & judge others for their eligibility to vote for their leaders..Duty of Election without selection!!

But neways, the election commission slowly & steadily put me & some of my friends into the groove..Firstly, by imparting the forced trainings on Electronic Voting Machines & the rules n regulations of the electoral process and Later actually thrusting us with all the unavoidable & inescapable responsibilities of the elections..

We were all filled with anxieties & worries..About our safety & wellbeings..How would those 2 days pass by? What would be the arrangements of our stay? Where would we be posted? And so on and so forth..

Finally the day came when we were all herd to that common location from where all of us had to collect their posting orders, the voting machines, all sorts of forms & envelops..And also the other team members!!

It was like a big village fair..One big pandal in the middle surrounded by several small counters..At least a thousand or so many people were thronging the place..Some busy searching for their counters, some looking out for their team members..Screaming their names on one loudspeaker, carrying placards of their party number..Some trying to find their bus number, which was supposed to take them to their respective polling stations..!

I was fortunate enough that soon after I had collected the items, I found one of my team members..He was really a smart chap who located our bus and we didn’t face much trouble from thereon as far as reaching our polling station was concerned..In the bus only, I met with my other team members..

It was a real hot day and sun was shining full throttle..After nearly 3 hours wait in the oven-like bus, we were finally on our way to our destined polling station..And approximately half an hour later we were there..It was a primary school in a very unhygienic location..But fortunately, there were fans in the rooms and a few carpets as well..So after initial preparations, which took quite a lot of time & deciding onto how to conduct the polling the next day,..We all went to our comfortable beds..The carpet and the sheet over it!! But sleep was one precious thing which was strictly denied to us by the unofficial guards of the Election Commission..The Mosquito Brigade, which kept us on our toes all through night..

So after a torturous night, I woke up at 4 in the morning and was ready for business by 5 with all my men and machines..The election proceedings started at sharp 7..Thanks to the BSF personnels..it was all very peaceful, free and fare.That was indeed the best part of this event!! I would really like to appreciate the Election Commission that they put in the army personnel for this job..They are unbiased, tough & honest..And this is what fetches them so much respect & love from the nation!!

However, I was completely unaware that the worst part was yet to come..It took nearly an hour to reach the location were we were supposed to deposit all the electoral material & the confidential documents..

But gosh..what a sight!! Nearly one to two thousand people struggling, squabbling and fighting to unburden themselves with their uncalled for responsibilities as soon as possible in a college ground which actually seemed like a battle ground..A complete chaos!! A totally unsystematic, ill-managed and undisciplined system welcomed us..It took us more than two hours, few bruises on head and chest before we could deposit the machines and forms..One of my collegeue was lirerally crushed by the mob and if I was not there he would have reached hospital instead of home that night..And to top it all, the bus which was supposed to take us back, was gone..!!

I was really disappointed by the unsympathetic & callous behavior of the system, which was least bothered for the personnels who had just performed their duties so well..Isn’t it the responsibility of the Election Commission that they take care of those employees whom they had so forcibly asked to perform such duty in such arduous conditions?

I appreciate that Election Commission has done great job in making the election as free and fair as possible..But my appeal is that they must also take care of those people whom they expect to make elections happen!!

But in any case, it was one hell of an experience..!! I kind of have mixed feelings about this..Happy, may be cause I could get the insight of the actual election procedure..Disappointed, because of the unsympathetic attitude of the system towards the people who were entrusted with the election procedure!!

But no frets..Just chill!! Hope u enjoyed this real account of the election duty and its proceedings!! Cheers!

Life & time..

2007-03-01T23:10:00.000-08:00

These days, my life is really on a very fast track..from morning till night, time seems to be flying..Responsibilities, work, and many more things are keeping me occupied all through the day..And finally when i fall on bed..its like a dead sleep..completely exhuasted, without thoughts, a big void!!
But still it's not bad..i m rather enjoying it..i m happy to be able to manage both my work and my responsibilities quite nicely..It gives me a sense of satisfaction, that i am able to do something for my family..that they trust me..that they still love me alot..I firmly believe that despite a few misconceptions, misunderstandings, they will realize sooner or later that i m still the same..that my better half is really a very nice person who cares for them..!!

V-Day or D-Day?

2007-02-14T23:01:00.000-08:00

It seems The Bajrang Dal, or the so-called moral police of our socity has got no issues left to deal with, in our "oh-so-politically-and culturally-correct" nation..Burning Valentine Day's card, harassing couples, vandalizing card shops are all they have got to do, to get the political mileage & public attention..And the reason these hooligans give, that they are trying to protect our culture from the invasion of the west? What a crap!! Who has given them the authority to decide on behalf of our society to interfer with our freedom of expression or freedom of love? Whats so wrong if couples find a day to celebrate their love or simply a day to have fun for that matter, in the name of Valentine's Day? If it were such a crime, why don't they pass a resolution in the parliament to ban Valentine's Day instead of disrupting the lives of the common people?

Actually, its not the case with Valentine's Day only..Its the irony of our nation that we allow such bastards to hijack our lives and do what they want..Political parties ban movies even if it were passed by the censor board, in their ruling state just because it hampers their position in the state..Nothing happens!! Political parties kill professor just because he resisted entry of criminals in student politics..Nothing happens!! So much and so forth..Nothing happens!!

So many people file public litigation on so many irrelevant issues like Mallika's dress, sacrilege, advertisements, T.V. channels..but no one has the guts to file a litigation against such criminal and unlawful activities done by our law makers..Grow up guys..Wake up and unite to fight for our freedom and the rights our constitution has given to us!! Or soon these V-Days would become the D-days of our free society..

Public call vs Nature's call..

2007-02-13T21:52:00.001-08:00

It was very heartening to find an article in today's "Times of india" titled "Cut the crap" dedicated to the serious issue of inadequate numbers of public toiles on railway platforms..So many of us would have faced this precarious situation when we were forced to relieve ourslves on the tracks or some side wall due to lack of public toilet on the platform and the pressing need to attend to the nature's call..Indeed sanitation is a very grave problem not only in Railways but accross India..There are extremely low numbers of public toilets available and most certainly, those available, are so filty that you would prefer leak in your pants rather than use them..Further, the ladies' toilets are almost negligible as if the fairer sex never has to attend to the nature's call however long the travelling duration may be..Ladies' toilets are indeed a rare site anywhere, be it bus stands, platforms or even market places..And surprisingly no one has ever noticed this alarming fact..Gents can always relieve themselves anywhere they find some open space..but the ladies do need some privacy while attending to such calls..These inadequate numbers of toilets show how badly we lack in terms of basic infrastructure..How do we think that we are on right track to become a developed nation till we are able to provide the basic infrastructure to our common man..!!Its a real big questions in front of our leaders who are taking india forward without paying heed to the sufferings of the general public..

T.I.A.: This is Africa!!

2007-02-13T04:08:00.000-08:00

Quite a break..haan! but was really busy guys..nothing official just personal..thats the reason for not posting anything this long..Neways, just found time enough to get back to write a few stray thoughts..Actually i saw Blood Dimond..wonderful movie..gruesome, heart wrenching, a naked reality!! It shows how the mighty nations are spilling or rather bartering blood of millions of innocent people across the world just to strengthen their position echonomically..And its not all about "T.I.A."..Its happening everywhere around the world..in one part of the world for oil, in some other for diamond and in another one for some other goddamn reason..All they want is global supremacy without caring a damn about humanity..What a shame and pity!! Blood diamond shows the disgusting & ugly face of the rich, the mighty and the selfish nations & their selfish people..God only knows when people would realize that with such selfish and inhuman approach, all they are doing is, making this world a living hell..They don't realize that one day, they themselves would be forced to undergo the same fate they are enforcing on others in the current times..May good sense prevail in this god forsaken world!!

Quest of life..

2006-12-21T02:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night when I was trying real hard to get at least forty winks if not the whole night’s sleep, this amazing thought process started weaving its web in my mind..It seemed that the darkness of the room had created a void around me with no gravity..and I was swirling around like a blade of straw caught in a twister at a breakneck speed..The whole world seemed to be converging at a single point of my being as if aiming for the bull's eye with an extremely sharp dart..An eerie silence was spread all around but still there was a crescendo welling up inside my head..It was growing & growing, slowly but steadily and to the extent that my brains seemed to have exploded in pain..And then, suddenly, there was left nothing..except.. another big void!

Uff..what the hell was that? What a strange & terrible feeling that was.. I woke up all flustered with my face covered with perspiration even in this so called “Dilli ki sardi”.. I felt claustrophobic..I opened the door to my balcony, and was relieved a bit to find that even in the midst of this pitch dark night, there were still a few vagrant nocturnes who were making cheerful noises..This seemed to have quite a wonderful effect on me and those chilly blows of cold were also pretty helpful in removing the remaining bits of that uneasiness..Very soon the sanity returned and I thought it wise to get back inside & try sleeping one more time..

However, I could not sleep..i guess it was just not destined to happen last night..so I decided to analyze just what I had experienced a while ago..The reflection led to many astounding questions that were probably left forlorn, deep within, unanswered..!!

Couldn’t it be possible that the void around me was just another form of the loneliness that I go through these days..And the absence of gravity was just the resultant of the helplessness I feel, under these circumstances..? Doesn’t it reflect that all these apprehensions, worries & tensions have made me so vulnerable that the whole world seem to conspire against me..and they are all trying to get at me for no apparent reasons..? Doesn’t this piercing sound rising within me, signifies the desire to break free and reach out for what, that is yet to be attained and for which, this heart craves so desperately?

And unconsciously , at some point of time, I slipped into deep sleep..Today while writing this blog..I think, don’t such similar questions arise in all of us sometimes or the other? Don’t we all go through the same phases in life, may be at different points of time?

However one may feel..but the questions still linger on, unanswered..at least for me!!

Show time folks..

2006-12-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

Good morning Buddies..!

Soooo..today is the show-time guys..I know its a bit stale & probably u all must have already watched these movies that i m going to talk about, but i just can't help it..Actually, i wanted to write about these movies long back but somehow missed that..So kindly bear with me..

So..firstly the Dhoom-2..Nebody may think that it was Rakesh Roshan who had made this movie..coz so much focus was given on Hritik Roshan that all other stars seemed like extras..But truly, it was Hritik only who could carry this movie with such ease & so much aplomb..Its such a slick & stylish movie that it could very easily give any hollywood movie run for its money..The stunts, the make up & the theft scenes are simply awesome..And to top it all, Hritik Roshan's Greek-God's looks & well sculpted body..He was so dashing & so cool that ne girl would go weak on her knees by the very first look of him..Truly "crazy kiya re"..!

However, somehow i found that Ash looked ashen & even malnourished rather than remotely gorgeous..it seemed that for this particular movie, the movie-makers neither gave her enough food nor enough cloths..She looked rickety man! And on top of it, she was trying to imitate Shahrukh Khan! Gosh, how could she do it? Can't somebody tell her that she can act well only if she remains in her own skin??..And what were Bipasha or Uday doing in this movie, God-only-knows..If they were trying to look funny or make the audiance laugh they failed miserably..They did nothing except waste a few reels here n there & hinder the pace of the movie..Only the bikini shot of Bipasha was the lone grace saviour for her..Now, coming to the Junior B..He looked so bored of his own role that he was just about doing the formalities of acting..His performance was simply mediocre as could be expected with such state of mind..It looked like he had just come out of bed and was trying to look cool..But not this time Junior!! May be better luck next time..

All in all u may say it was Hritik all the way who really made alot of Dhoom!!

The second movie is Casino Royal..Another Bond flick but with a difference..No hi-fi gadgets..no cool weapons..Not even a sophisticated Bond which has been the trade-mark of all the Bond movies so far!! But still this movie rocks & is worth watching by any movie-monger..

Daniel Craig looked real stud with macho looks and equally tough body..The initial scene itself, a brilliant chase sequence was simply awesome..It was such a thrilling experience that u would be glued to ur seats..Then for first time in Bond movies, James Bond was with emotions and that too in literal sense..He really fell in love and so much so that he even tendered his resignation as 007..But by the grace of the director & to the good fortune of the fans, he had to back out in the end..Even the plot was quite interesting as probably for the first time our English agent didn't beat the evil-guy in some action packed fight sequence rather he did it in style in the game of cards or in our local language "Teen Patti"..!! Isn't it interesting??

Over all, i liked Daniel Craig alot as James Bond..And Eva Green was equally stunning in the role of a Bond Girl..Specially in that red dress with plunging neck line..Red Hot!! Do watch it guys if u haven't so far..Its a real cool stuff!

Chalo, its enough for now..Hope to be back with another review soon..But i am really dying to watch the soon-to-come Die Hard-4 i.e. "Live freely or Die Hard"..Till then have a great time..!! Cheers!!

Killing time..

2006-12-19T03:39:00.000-08:00

I m sorry guys but i m back again..I know, u guys would be really wondering "Doesn't he have anything else to do except blogging? What is it, the company is paying him for? For Blogging!!"..

But seriously, i have nothing else to do..sacchi!! The whole day i did nothing except writing "the autobiography so far.." but still have got another hour to kill..So what better use of time than to write something..or anything for that matter!!

Hope u guys understand..Therefore, kindly bear with me and consider my pathetic state..After all how long can one sit idle or gossip in a day?

Hey, It seems ur prayers or ur cursing have payed off..The boss is calling me..So gotta go..Ciao!! Bye..

The autobiography so far..

2006-12-18T21:55:00.000-08:00

U never know whats coming in your life next? Particularly in my case, it seems i don't decide what shape my life is going to take rather it takes its own shape as water does in different vessels its put in..But fortunately so, it has always turned out to be good for me as well as for everybody around me..

Now u all must be guessing as to what has happened to me that i have started yarning this tale of luck..Actually as they say "empty mind is a devil's workshop", so i thought why not manufacture something which is best out of the waste..However, I have not thought about its title..But it may be termed as the “The autobiography so far..” of course, if u do like to cap this crap..I guess I’ll also keep it that way..

So, ever since i remember, i have always been a jolly good fellow who has never given much thought about anything in my childhood days..or may be i was just a kid then, innocent and ignorant..

I was good at studies but was more inclined towards literature..Like, i would finish all the story & poem books of Hindi & english before i have even touched those of maths or science..And when i was in 10th standard i even dreamt of becoming a professor of literature..!

But as my luck would have it, due to the wishes of my family i took up maths as my main stream..And as could be expected of me, i didn't realize till the fag end of the 12th standard that all i could become with maths as my main stream was an "Engineer"..

But it was already too late when this fact dawned on me..So i had no option but to go for the bachelor degree from some renowned university..Soon following the footsteps of my elder bro, I too appeared for that lone esteemed university entrance exam..And there clicked my luck, and I not only got selected but even got the second best choice in the science stream..!

But as I was enjoying a completely aimless life like romantics without worrying about my career or future, I got the shock of my life..I was selected in the engineering entrance exam! I had taken this exam so casually as if deliberately trying not to get selected even by the remotest chance..But God had something else in store for me and here I was, in a premier institute doing Bachelor of Engineering in Computer Science!!

There, except for studies, I tried hands on everything..The biggest disaster however was the love at first sight..But fortunately, she is married now..Of course, with somebody else buddy or I would have missed the most wonderful person I was destined to find later..

Barring a few hiccups I managed to clear all the semesters and to my own surprise got a decent job in a PSU..But it would not have been possible if the Lady Luck was not so considerate and was not smiling from ear to ear..Firstly, considering my technical skills & knowledge of subjects, I should have flunked in at least 10-15 subjects but I didn’t..Thanks to a few incompetent teachers and my brilliant luck..However, despite all such odds, i did manage to flunk in 3 by the end of the course..Secondly, a PSU had never come to our campus ever..And it seems as if that PSU had come specifically to provide me this much needed job..My sincere thanks to Govt. Of India!

Anyways, during all these years in job I kept following my interest in literature and somehow developed a secret desire of writing a book..And god willingly I met two wonderful guys who helped me immensely in fulfilling this dream..Though I had never dreamt of writing a technical book, but a book in your name anyhow makes you an author! So now, I am a proud author of a technical book about which I have the least of the ideas..Ain’t you jealous?

Moving ahead, like the most crucial period of any bachelor’s life..i too had come to a stage where my parents had started looking for a bride for me..And then came the master stroke of my luck and I met this lovely girl whom I wanted so desperately to be my wife..She was apprehensive and a bit insecure about her future with me..but she was so lovely, so lively, so jolly and above all so good natured & understanding that just could not let her go without giving it a real tough fight..And indeed I had to struggle, fight & even beg in front of God to get hold of her..And as usual, God just could not resist me and granted me my most desperate wish..So now I am having the loveliest person in this world as my wife and I love her madly!! Thanks God!!

Now after all these years, when I recall all such incidents or events happened in my life so far, it really bemuses me that how critical a role my luck played in taking me there where I am at present..May be I m fatalist but doesn’t my aforesaid narration proves my point?

Somehow i find my story pretty similar to that of "Forest Gump" played by Tom Hanks..Forest Gump was an extremely simple character with a completely innocent outlook towards life..Yet, he had such a wonderful luck that he succeeded everywhere he put his hands or money in..Its one of the best movies I have ever watched..And the character of Forest Gump is truly amazing..A must watch for every movie buff!

Hope u have enjoyed this autobiography so far..However, I do intend to update it after the passage of another 30 years of my life..Till then good luck and take care!!

Elusive Win!!

2006-12-18T04:25:00.000-08:00

At last the long awaited win for our men in blue in SA..!!In my opinion the spirited performance by VRV Singh & the comeback form of Ganguli did the trick..The onslaught by VRV Singh at the fag end was a real moral booster for the team..Ganguli's grit & his killer instincts were the testimony that the Prince of Kolkatta still rules the roost..This in turn led to the fiery spell by Sreesant who literally dug up the whole SA innings single handedly..The pinnacle of this will-to-kill was when Sreesant hit Nel for a straight six after beaten by him in the previous delivery..The celebration by Srisant after that six was the moment of the day!!

Again in the second innings, VVS Lakshman showed his elegance and courage to lead our team from the front..Zahir Khan also contributed immensely in this with his bat as well as ball..

So overall it was a tremendous effort by our men in blue and we wish that they keep up their spirit and continue with the good work..!!

Also Mr. Chappel must have realized that Ganguli has not worn out as yet and he must consider talent over politics or personal grudges..Cheers Team India!!

Dew drops or tears?

2006-12-18T01:49:00.000-08:00

Going crazy..

2006-12-17T21:28:00.000-08:00

Somehow the life has become lifeless..Seems i have got no energy, no aims, nothing..the last two days I did nothing except watching television..that too nothing substantial..i guess i have got no interest for anything..could not read any book properly, didn't go out anywhere..even didn't feel like eating let alone cooking for myself..

Whats gone wrong? i guess its the loneliness thats eating me from inside..the house is a big void which has nothing in it..i m the only one who talks and who listens too..the thoughts just keep wandering..but it seems that even they are not able to clear the boundaries of that castle i am imprisioned in..Sometimes it feels claustrophobic..feels like dying a slow death..in the morning the bed becomes the deathbed from which i just can't get up however i try..

i guess i m going crazy..its better i get involved into something soon or else i m wasting alot of precious time and my life..

Lee-Hesh & the end of road

2006-12-15T02:12:00.000-08:00

What a proud feeling when u get to see an Indian standing on the numero uno position at the podium , our tricolor flying high & mighty and our national anthem in the air..!! I was so fortunate to enjoy these glorious moments when I was surfing idly the channels of my idiot box..It was the victory ceremony of our Doubles' Tennis Gold match at 15th Asian Games in Doha ..Leander Paes & Mahesh Bhupathi once again proved that they are still a force to reckon with when it matters most..They played an amazing game surviving 7 match points and clinching the gold from the Thai duo..They showed the grit, the spirit and the will to win..And the chest bumping was a treat to watch..So many fans had been waiting for so long to get the famous chest bumping back in the tennis arena..

But unfortunately, when they were supposed to be celebrating their success, we came to know about their yet another fall out and their decision of not playing ever again together for the nation..What an irony? Its really heart breaking that our best ever tennis pair could not get along..

It could be their personal differences that led to this parting..but this has really been a great loss to our nation and to the tennis fraternity as a whole..The charisma that the duo had on court, was simply amazing & their chest bumping would always be cherished for its electrifying effects..

The agility of Paes on the nets & the accuracy of serve by Bhupathi were real fire power with which they could destroy any opposition..The numerous grand slams and several other trophies are the testimony of their amazing talent & team spirit..

Hats off to the legends of our Great Tennis Duo..!! Adios..

The Fountainhead

2006-12-08T02:58:00.000-08:00

This is the only book that i deliberately delayed reading..Actually, so many people had told me about this book that it got on my nerves..But fortunately, my wife pressed me so much so that i had to pick it up..and i must admit that i am extremely greatful to her for making me read this modern days classic..its a completely engrossing,extremely thought provoking & an inspring read..

Before zeroing in on to its characters i'll just talk a bit about its theme and its central idea.."Obectivism" is the driving force behind this great novel..As its title very aptly suggests, the man is the fountainhead of all the creativity, virilty, joy & love..And therefore, if the man has discovered his real self, he may very easily reach the pinnacle of its glory & unleash the power of the human spirit..

Ayn Rand has so beautifully delineated all the nuances of mankind and personalities through the various characters of this novel that you would be amazed by her observation power..

Now, coming to the characters of this novel..Howard Roark is the male protagonist of the story who is completely aware of his self, its needs and its weaknesses & strengths..A person who has firm belief in human spirit & its potential..Dominique Francon, the female version of the same human self who knows what Howard means to the world and tries to protect him in a way to hurt him so that he doesn’t get weak or buckles down to the obstacles, humiliation or sufferings the world puts him through..Another intriguing character Mr. Toohey, a philosopher, a social worker, a mentor who prefers collectivism to individualism..a means by which he aims to hold the key to power over all the weak persons or dependents or people unaware of their own potentials..Peter Keatin, a complete parasite who is one of the puppets of Mr. Toohey, has no self, no strength to fight, a weakling..

The Fountainhead is the story of an architect, who is a perfectionist and never compromises on his work ethics & principles..Howard Roark, the architect who keeps on fighting this world of second handers & those who have forgotten their self or mortgaged their souls in the hands of those who seek perverse pleasure in fiddling with these selfless souls..His paramour, Dominique, another individualist who knows how the world treats those who don’t adhere to the norms of the regular world.. She understands the needs of Roark and never makes him weak because of their love..She rather strengthens their bond by sacrificing her individuality in the hands of this corrupt world..Mr. Toohey keeps manipulating the world as per his choice, trying to destroy Roark to prove his own superiority in his own eyes..The story culminates into a courtroom trial where Roark speaks his mind and talks about the effects of Indivisualism & Collectivism on our society..That speech of Roark is a masterpiece in itself..And it very aptly sums up the whole purpose & motive behind this story by Ayn Rand..

All in all, it’s a fantastic book and a must read by anyone who is at all interested in reading true literature.. Thats all for now..See you soon guys with the review of some another book ..Till then Happy reading!!

"The Diary of a Young Girl"

2006-11-23T04:48:00.001-08:00

The last book that I read was “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank., a Jew teenager who was forced to go in hiding along with her family during the World War-II. The book as suggested by the title itself is basically a diary written by Anne while she was under hiding in Holland. Its an account of two years they spent there before their hide out was busted to Gastapo and they were sent to different concentration camps. Only her father survived who later distributed the copies of the diary to some of his friends and relatives in remembrance of his daughter and incidentally got it published when persuaded by some of his close associates.
It’s been a long time since I had heard about this book for the first time. And ever since I was so curious to know as to what was in that book which catapulted it into one of the most genuine accounts of the world war –II atrocities and sufferings meted out to Jews. But the way Anne has penned her thoughts, sketched the characters of the other people living with her, their day to day chores, the political scenario, the sufferings, and the mental trauma, it removed any doubts about its Class if I ever had any. It has so much maturity and insight that are at times found missing even in most of the older & so-called intellectual people. This book not only deals with the hazards of War but also with the psyche of an adolescent. How an adolescent mind craves to explore the world, to express its views, to make a difference and to be understood by others. All in all, an undoubtedly must read!!

"Five Point Someone"

2006-11-23T04:47:00.001-08:00

Not so long back i finished this book titled "Five point someone" by Chetan Bhagat..A very interesting read if u r not expecting it to be packed with some heavy language, erudite expressions or literary to the core..Its been written in a very simple but lucid language, easily understandable and in a way fairly comprehendible to anybody who has even just begun to explore some literary stuff..In my case may be i liked it more coz i could relate myself with it alot..Similar to story of the novel, i too have been into an engineering college, where we had this bunch of miscreants who would do anything except study..The only difference being, instead of the trio we were around 10..A Perfect 10 infact!! We had a perfect blend of studious as well as fun loving guys..And u wouldn’t believe, but we had exactly three of us in our group who could aptly be christened as “six point someone”..(Though I m a bit disappointed that we couldn’t make it “Five point someone”..Sorry Chetan!!) Also instead of being caught red handed stealing question papers, we were caught while ragging a two year junior to us..The most horrifying experience till date.. The mental trauma, uncertainty & the fear of expulsion was simply bone-chilling..However, by god’s grace and our good luck, the authorities spared us and we swore not to ever get indulged into anything that could devoid us of our dream “beloved bachelor degree” and a possible future in terms of a Job..And as the usual happy endings, we all got out of the institute with broad smiles holding proudly our bachelor degrees and good jobs stashed away comfortably in various parts of the country..
But whatever, the college life still remains the best part of my life or for that matter in everybody’s life..Friends, fun, disappointments, success, bickering, squabbling and making merry..they are simply unforgettable..Miss u guys!!

"What travelling means to me?" An essay

2006-11-23T04:46:00.000-08:00

"Go travelling with us!"
Her travels daily be
By routes of ecstasy
To Evening's Sea—
-by Emily Dickinson

After a period of monotonous & routine chores, when the mind craves to unwind, to explore the unexplored, to get to know new people belonging to different cultures, then what better option one can get than to travel and unravel one’s own country.
A country with bountiful of lush green fields, lilting rivers, towering mountains and people with such diverse culture that can outnumber the whole civilization put together. A country cordoned by three oceans and the largest mountain range, encompassing one of the world’s largest deserts in its heart. Yes, this is our country, our incredible INDIA...
Touring India acquaints me with its vast Cultural Heritage in terms of forts, palaces & myriads of temple, which are masonry marvels because of their structural ambience. The Taj Mahal & the Golden Temple are considered even the World Heritages. Also, the monasteries & Buddhist circuit with the rural touch are simply mesmerizing in effect. Not only the mansions and edifices, the palm-fringed beaches of Goa & Kerala are capable enough to rejuvenate anyone’s spirit & heart. Or one can transcend into another world simply by meditating on the Vivekanand Rock or in the cool and ancient Buddhist caves tunneled out of solid rocks on the craggy hillsides.
However, the spiritual India cannot be felt thoroughly until one is ready to immerse oneself into the Holy waters of the Ganges, visit at least a few of the innumerable temples and accompany a group of millions of Pilgrims kindled with the devotion & respect for their deities. Temples located at the highest of points are not able to deter the devout to reach there even in the most extreme & hazardous conditions. Amarnath, Aiyppa & Vaishnodevi, among the few temples I have visited, are considered the seats of the highest devotion.
Not only the spirituality, but the simplicity of its people across the country, what makes India so fascinating. I cannot stop marveling at the fact that here, even the natural climactic changes like the profusion of orange flowers, the shade of the banyan tree are celebrated not only to enjoy life but also to pay obeisance to the deity for their blessings and love. Festivals like Onam, Vasant Panchami & Lohri represent the dawn of New Year for harvesting. Also, the villages that one comes across while traveling by train or bus, with vast green fields, mud houses, cattle & simply clad people, give one the picture of rural but real & simple India.
However, India is not only about the Sacred temples & Holy cow. Even in the midst of all the spirituality & festivities, the vibrancy of modern & restless India cannot go unnoticed. The western & central India has all the luxury one can dream of. The numerous skyscrapers, the most luxurious hotels & innumerable shopping malls, they all give us the feel of the new and changing face India.
But, be it any part of India, it exudes the same warmth and tenderness a kid receives ensconced in its mother’s lap. It rejuvenates the tired mind & the battered soul and once again you are ready to face the new challenges, to scale the newer heights in life…And this is what tourism means to me, to get enriched by the knowledge of my own country, my own people and lead a satisfied life from dawn to dusk!!

I am alive..

2006-11-23T04:45:00.000-08:00

A life crumbles ridden with scars
Innumerable insults, unbearable pain
Is it so dark inside, nobody can see the light?
The moment freezes
Dew drops settle on the petals of her eyes
A gipsy breeze permeates her soul
White noise pierces her ears
And she screams ”I am alive”

La Belle Dame..

2006-11-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

Nazm Uljhee Hui Hai Seene Me
Misre Atke Hue Hai Hoto Par
UDte Phirte Hai Titliyon Ki Tarah
Lafz Kaagaz Pe Baithte Hi Nahi...
Kab Se Baitha Hua Hu Mai Jaanam
Saada Kaagaz Pe Likh Ke Naam Tera...
Bas Tera Naam Hi Muqammil Hai
Is Se Behtar Bhi Nazm Kya Hogi

--Gulzar

Death

2006-11-23T02:41:00.000-08:00

It was such a shocking news..Doctors had given up & it was just a matter of time before the kid would be no more..How happy both the parents & their other family members were, when the kid was born. .The twinkle in its eyes brought so much joy & the touch of its tiny hands gave so much assurance that whole future looked so bright..But unfortunately, the child could not bring as much happiness with its arrival than the agony & pain it brought with its departure..

It was not the death of a kid..rather it was the death of all the dreams & expectations attached with that kid..A whole world crashed down..A heart breaking end to an untold story!

The labour pain was so insignificant in front of the pain of this incorrigible loss..The mother was speechless..Her tears dry!

Father was so stunned that he became emotionless..He behaved mechanically..Nothing is as heart wrenching for a father as to perform the last rites of his very own son..God is so cruel!

But may be thats what we call life!!