Quest of life..

Yesterday night when I was trying real hard to get at least forty winks if not the whole night’s sleep, this amazing thought process started weaving its web in my mind..It seemed that the darkness of the room had created a void around me with no gravity..and I was swirling around like a blade of straw caught in a twister at a breakneck speed..The whole world seemed to be converging at a single point of my being as if aiming for the bull's eye with an extremely sharp dart..An eerie silence was spread all around but still there was a crescendo welling up inside my head..It was growing & growing, slowly but steadily and to the extent that my brains seemed to have exploded in pain..And then, suddenly, there was left nothing..except.. another big void!

Uff..what the hell was that? What a strange & terrible feeling that was.. I woke up all flustered with my face covered with perspiration even in this so called “Dilli ki sardi”.. I felt claustrophobic..I opened the door to my balcony, and was relieved a bit to find that even in the midst of this pitch dark night, there were still a few vagrant nocturnes who were making cheerful noises..This seemed to have quite a wonderful effect on me and those chilly blows of cold were also pretty helpful in removing the remaining bits of that uneasiness..Very soon the sanity returned and I thought it wise to get back inside & try sleeping one more time..

However, I could not sleep..i guess it was just not destined to happen last night..so I decided to analyze just what I had experienced a while ago..The reflection led to many astounding questions that were probably left forlorn, deep within, unanswered..!!

Couldn’t it be possible that the void around me was just another form of the loneliness that I go through these days..And the absence of gravity was just the resultant of the helplessness I feel, under these circumstances..? Doesn’t it reflect that all these apprehensions, worries & tensions have made me so vulnerable that the whole world seem to conspire against me..and they are all trying to get at me for no apparent reasons..? Doesn’t this piercing sound rising within me, signifies the desire to break free and reach out for what, that is yet to be attained and for which, this heart craves so desperately?

And unconsciously , at some point of time, I slipped into deep sleep..Today while writing this blog..I think, don’t such similar questions arise in all of us sometimes or the other? Don’t we all go through the same phases in life, may be at different points of time?

However one may feel..but the questions still linger on, unanswered..at least for me!!

Show time folks..

Good morning Buddies..!

Soooo..today is the show-time guys..I know its a bit stale & probably u all must have already watched these movies that i m going to talk about, but i just can't help it..Actually, i wanted to write about these movies long back but somehow missed that..So kindly bear with me..

So..firstly the Dhoom-2..Nebody may think that it was Rakesh Roshan who had made this movie..coz so much focus was given on Hritik Roshan that all other stars seemed like extras..But truly, it was Hritik only who could carry this movie with such ease & so much aplomb..Its such a slick & stylish movie that it could very easily give any hollywood movie run for its money..The stunts, the make up & the theft scenes are simply awesome..And to top it all, Hritik Roshan's Greek-God's looks & well sculpted body..He was so dashing & so cool that ne girl would go weak on her knees by the very first look of him..Truly "crazy kiya re"..!

However, somehow i found that Ash looked ashen & even malnourished rather than remotely gorgeous..it seemed that for this particular movie, the movie-makers neither gave her enough food nor enough cloths..She looked rickety man! And on top of it, she was trying to imitate Shahrukh Khan! Gosh, how could she do it? Can't somebody tell her that she can act well only if she remains in her own skin??..And what were Bipasha or Uday doing in this movie, God-only-knows..If they were trying to look funny or make the audiance laugh they failed miserably..They did nothing except waste a few reels here n there & hinder the pace of the movie..Only the bikini shot of Bipasha was the lone grace saviour for her..Now, coming to the Junior B..He looked so bored of his own role that he was just about doing the formalities of acting..His performance was simply mediocre as could be expected with such state of mind..It looked like he had just come out of bed and was trying to look cool..But not this time Junior!! May be better luck next time..

All in all u may say it was Hritik all the way who really made alot of Dhoom!!

The second movie is Casino Royal..Another Bond flick but with a difference..No hi-fi gadgets..no cool weapons..Not even a sophisticated Bond which has been the trade-mark of all the Bond movies so far!! But still this movie rocks & is worth watching by any movie-monger..

Daniel Craig looked real stud with macho looks and equally tough body..The initial scene itself, a brilliant chase sequence was simply awesome..It was such a thrilling experience that u would be glued to ur seats..Then for first time in Bond movies, James Bond was with emotions and that too in literal sense..He really fell in love and so much so that he even tendered his resignation as 007..But by the grace of the director & to the good fortune of the fans, he had to back out in the end..Even the plot was quite interesting as probably for the first time our English agent didn't beat the evil-guy in some action packed fight sequence rather he did it in style in the game of cards or in our local language "Teen Patti"..!! Isn't it interesting??

Over all, i liked Daniel Craig alot as James Bond..And Eva Green was equally stunning in the role of a Bond Girl..Specially in that red dress with plunging neck line..Red Hot!! Do watch it guys if u haven't so far..Its a real cool stuff!

Chalo, its enough for now..Hope to be back with another review soon..But i am really dying to watch the soon-to-come Die Hard-4 i.e. "Live freely or Die Hard"..Till then have a great time..!! Cheers!!

Killing time..

I m sorry guys but i m back again..I know, u guys would be really wondering "Doesn't he have anything else to do except blogging? What is it, the company is paying him for? For Blogging!!"..

But seriously, i have nothing else to do..sacchi!! The whole day i did nothing except writing "the autobiography so far.." but still have got another hour to kill..So what better use of time than to write something..or anything for that matter!!

Hope u guys understand..Therefore, kindly bear with me and consider my pathetic state..After all how long can one sit idle or gossip in a day?

Hey, It seems ur prayers or ur cursing have payed off..The boss is calling me..So gotta go..Ciao!! Bye..

The autobiography so far..

U never know whats coming in your life next? Particularly in my case, it seems i don't decide what shape my life is going to take rather it takes its own shape as water does in different vessels its put in..But fortunately so, it has always turned out to be good for me as well as for everybody around me..

Now u all must be guessing as to what has happened to me that i have started yarning this tale of luck..Actually as they say "empty mind is a devil's workshop", so i thought why not manufacture something which is best out of the waste..However, I have not thought about its title..But it may be termed as the “The autobiography so far..” of course, if u do like to cap this crap..I guess I’ll also keep it that way..

So, ever since i remember, i have always been a jolly good fellow who has never given much thought about anything in my childhood days..or may be i was just a kid then, innocent and ignorant..

I was good at studies but was more inclined towards literature..Like, i would finish all the story & poem books of Hindi & english before i have even touched those of maths or science..And when i was in 10th standard i even dreamt of becoming a professor of literature..!

But as my luck would have it, due to the wishes of my family i took up maths as my main stream..And as could be expected of me, i didn't realize till the fag end of the 12th standard that all i could become with maths as my main stream was an "Engineer"..

But it was already too late when this fact dawned on me..So i had no option but to go for the bachelor degree from some renowned university..Soon following the footsteps of my elder bro, I too appeared for that lone esteemed university entrance exam..And there clicked my luck, and I not only got selected but even got the second best choice in the science stream..!

But as I was enjoying a completely aimless life like romantics without worrying about my career or future, I got the shock of my life..I was selected in the engineering entrance exam! I had taken this exam so casually as if deliberately trying not to get selected even by the remotest chance..But God had something else in store for me and here I was, in a premier institute doing Bachelor of Engineering in Computer Science!!

There, except for studies, I tried hands on everything..The biggest disaster however was the love at first sight..But fortunately, she is married now..Of course, with somebody else buddy or I would have missed the most wonderful person I was destined to find later..

Barring a few hiccups I managed to clear all the semesters and to my own surprise got a decent job in a PSU..But it would not have been possible if the Lady Luck was not so considerate and was not smiling from ear to ear..Firstly, considering my technical skills & knowledge of subjects, I should have flunked in at least 10-15 subjects but I didn’t..Thanks to a few incompetent teachers and my brilliant luck..However, despite all such odds, i did manage to flunk in 3 by the end of the course..Secondly, a PSU had never come to our campus ever..And it seems as if that PSU had come specifically to provide me this much needed job..My sincere thanks to Govt. Of India!

Anyways, during all these years in job I kept following my interest in literature and somehow developed a secret desire of writing a book..And god willingly I met two wonderful guys who helped me immensely in fulfilling this dream..Though I had never dreamt of writing a technical book, but a book in your name anyhow makes you an author! So now, I am a proud author of a technical book about which I have the least of the ideas..Ain’t you jealous?


Moving ahead, like the most crucial period of any bachelor’s life..i too had come to a stage where my parents had started looking for a bride for me..And then came the master stroke of my luck and I met this lovely girl whom I wanted so desperately to be my wife..She was apprehensive and a bit insecure about her future with me..but she was so lovely, so lively, so jolly and above all so good natured & understanding that just could not let her go without giving it a real tough fight..And indeed I had to struggle, fight & even beg in front of God to get hold of her..And as usual, God just could not resist me and granted me my most desperate wish..So now I am having the loveliest person in this world as my wife and I love her madly!! Thanks God!!

Now after all these years, when I recall all such incidents or events happened in my life so far, it really bemuses me that how critical a role my luck played in taking me there where I am at present..May be I m fatalist but doesn’t my aforesaid narration proves my point?

Somehow i find my story pretty similar to that of "Forest Gump" played by Tom Hanks..Forest Gump was an extremely simple character with a completely innocent outlook towards life..Yet, he had such a wonderful luck that he succeeded everywhere he put his hands or money in..Its one of the best movies I have ever watched..And the character of Forest Gump is truly amazing..A must watch for every movie buff!

Hope u have enjoyed this autobiography so far..However, I do intend to update it after the passage of another 30 years of my life..Till then good luck and take care!!

Elusive Win!!

At last the long awaited win for our men in blue in SA..!!In my opinion the spirited performance by VRV Singh & the comeback form of Ganguli did the trick..The onslaught by VRV Singh at the fag end was a real moral booster for the team..Ganguli's grit & his killer instincts were the testimony that the Prince of Kolkatta still rules the roost..This in turn led to the fiery spell by Sreesant who literally dug up the whole SA innings single handedly..The pinnacle of this will-to-kill was when Sreesant hit Nel for a straight six after beaten by him in the previous delivery..The celebration by Srisant after that six was the moment of the day!!

Again in the second innings, VVS Lakshman showed his elegance and courage to lead our team from the front..Zahir Khan also contributed immensely in this with his bat as well as ball..

So overall it was a tremendous effort by our men in blue and we wish that they keep up their spirit and continue with the good work..!!

Also Mr. Chappel must have realized that Ganguli has not worn out as yet and he must consider talent over politics or personal grudges..Cheers Team India!!

Dew drops or tears?

Going crazy..

Somehow the life has become lifeless..Seems i have got no energy, no aims, nothing..the last two days I did nothing except watching television..that too nothing substantial..i guess i have got no interest for anything..could not read any book properly, didn't go out anywhere..even didn't feel like eating let alone cooking for myself..

Whats gone wrong? i guess its the loneliness thats eating me from inside..the house is a big void which has nothing in it..i m the only one who talks and who listens too..the thoughts just keep wandering..but it seems that even they are not able to clear the boundaries of that castle i am imprisioned in..Sometimes it feels claustrophobic..feels like dying a slow death..in the morning the bed becomes the deathbed from which i just can't get up however i try..

i guess i m going crazy..its better i get involved into something soon or else i m wasting alot of precious time and my life..

Lee-Hesh & the end of road

What a proud feeling when u get to see an Indian standing on the numero uno position at the podium , our tricolor flying high & mighty and our national anthem in the air..!! I was so fortunate to enjoy these glorious moments when I was surfing idly the channels of my idiot box..It was the victory ceremony of our Doubles' Tennis Gold match at 15th Asian Games in Doha ..Leander Paes & Mahesh Bhupathi once again proved that they are still a force to reckon with when it matters most..They played an amazing game surviving 7 match points and clinching the gold from the Thai duo..They showed the grit, the spirit and the will to win..And the chest bumping was a treat to watch..So many fans had been waiting for so long to get the famous chest bumping back in the tennis arena..

But unfortunately, when they were supposed to be celebrating their success, we came to know about their yet another fall out and their decision of not playing ever again together for the nation..What an irony? Its really heart breaking that our best ever tennis pair could not get along..

It could be their personal differences that led to this parting..but this has really been a great loss to our nation and to the tennis fraternity as a whole..The charisma that the duo had on court, was simply amazing & their chest bumping would always be cherished for its electrifying effects..

The agility of Paes on the nets & the accuracy of serve by Bhupathi were real fire power with which they could destroy any opposition..The numerous grand slams and several other trophies are the testimony of their amazing talent & team spirit..

Hats off to the legends of our Great Tennis Duo..!! Adios..

The Fountainhead

This is the only book that i deliberately delayed reading..Actually, so many people had told me about this book that it got on my nerves..But fortunately, my wife pressed me so much so that i had to pick it up..and i must admit that i am extremely greatful to her for making me read this modern days classic..its a completely engrossing,extremely thought provoking & an inspring read..

Before zeroing in on to its characters i'll just talk a bit about its theme and its central idea.."Obectivism" is the driving force behind this great novel..As its title very aptly suggests, the man is the fountainhead of all the creativity, virilty, joy & love..And therefore, if the man has discovered his real self, he may very easily reach the pinnacle of its glory & unleash the power of the human spirit..

Ayn Rand has so beautifully delineated all the nuances of mankind and personalities through the various characters of this novel that you would be amazed by her observation power..

Now, coming to the characters of this novel..Howard Roark is the male protagonist of the story who is completely aware of his self, its needs and its weaknesses & strengths..A person who has firm belief in human spirit & its potential..Dominique Francon, the female version of the same human self who knows what Howard means to the world and tries to protect him in a way to hurt him so that he doesn’t get weak or buckles down to the obstacles, humiliation or sufferings the world puts him through..Another intriguing character Mr. Toohey, a philosopher, a social worker, a mentor who prefers collectivism to individualism..a means by which he aims to hold the key to power over all the weak persons or dependents or people unaware of their own potentials..Peter Keatin, a complete parasite who is one of the puppets of Mr. Toohey, has no self, no strength to fight, a weakling..

The Fountainhead is the story of an architect, who is a perfectionist and never compromises on his work ethics & principles..Howard Roark, the architect who keeps on fighting this world of second handers & those who have forgotten their self or mortgaged their souls in the hands of those who seek perverse pleasure in fiddling with these selfless souls..His paramour, Dominique, another individualist who knows how the world treats those who don’t adhere to the norms of the regular world.. She understands the needs of Roark and never makes him weak because of their love..She rather strengthens their bond by sacrificing her individuality in the hands of this corrupt world..Mr. Toohey keeps manipulating the world as per his choice, trying to destroy Roark to prove his own superiority in his own eyes..The story culminates into a courtroom trial where Roark speaks his mind and talks about the effects of Indivisualism & Collectivism on our society..That speech of Roark is a masterpiece in itself..And it very aptly sums up the whole purpose & motive behind this story by Ayn Rand..

All in all, it’s a fantastic book and a must read by anyone who is at all interested in reading true literature.. Thats all for now..See you soon guys with the review of some another book ..Till then Happy reading!!

"The Diary of a Young Girl"

The last book that I read was “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank., a Jew teenager who was forced to go in hiding along with her family during the World War-II. The book as suggested by the title itself is basically a diary written by Anne while she was under hiding in Holland. Its an account of two years they spent there before their hide out was busted to Gastapo and they were sent to different concentration camps. Only her father survived who later distributed the copies of the diary to some of his friends and relatives in remembrance of his daughter and incidentally got it published when persuaded by some of his close associates.
It’s been a long time since I had heard about this book for the first time. And ever since I was so curious to know as to what was in that book which catapulted it into one of the most genuine accounts of the world war –II atrocities and sufferings meted out to Jews. But the way Anne has penned her thoughts, sketched the characters of the other people living with her, their day to day chores, the political scenario, the sufferings, and the mental trauma, it removed any doubts about its Class if I ever had any. It has so much maturity and insight that are at times found missing even in most of the older & so-called intellectual people. This book not only deals with the hazards of War but also with the psyche of an adolescent. How an adolescent mind craves to explore the world, to express its views, to make a difference and to be understood by others. All in all, an undoubtedly must read!!

"Five Point Someone"

Not so long back i finished this book titled "Five point someone" by Chetan Bhagat..A very interesting read if u r not expecting it to be packed with some heavy language, erudite expressions or literary to the core..Its been written in a very simple but lucid language, easily understandable and in a way fairly comprehendible to anybody who has even just begun to explore some literary stuff..In my case may be i liked it more coz i could relate myself with it alot..Similar to story of the novel, i too have been into an engineering college, where we had this bunch of miscreants who would do anything except study..The only difference being, instead of the trio we were around 10..A Perfect 10 infact!! We had a perfect blend of studious as well as fun loving guys..And u wouldn’t believe, but we had exactly three of us in our group who could aptly be christened as “six point someone”..(Though I m a bit disappointed that we couldn’t make it “Five point someone”..Sorry Chetan!!) Also instead of being caught red handed stealing question papers, we were caught while ragging a two year junior to us..The most horrifying experience till date.. The mental trauma, uncertainty & the fear of expulsion was simply bone-chilling..However, by god’s grace and our good luck, the authorities spared us and we swore not to ever get indulged into anything that could devoid us of our dream “beloved bachelor degree” and a possible future in terms of a Job..And as the usual happy endings, we all got out of the institute with broad smiles holding proudly our bachelor degrees and good jobs stashed away comfortably in various parts of the country..
But whatever, the college life still remains the best part of my life or for that matter in everybody’s life..Friends, fun, disappointments, success, bickering, squabbling and making merry..they are simply unforgettable..Miss u guys!!

"What travelling means to me?" An essay

"Go travelling with us!"
Her travels daily be
By routes of ecstasy
To Evening's Sea—
-by Emily Dickinson

After a period of monotonous & routine chores, when the mind craves to unwind, to explore the unexplored, to get to know new people belonging to different cultures, then what better option one can get than to travel and unravel one’s own country.
A country with bountiful of lush green fields, lilting rivers, towering mountains and people with such diverse culture that can outnumber the whole civilization put together. A country cordoned by three oceans and the largest mountain range, encompassing one of the world’s largest deserts in its heart. Yes, this is our country, our incredible INDIA...
Touring India acquaints me with its vast Cultural Heritage in terms of forts, palaces & myriads of temple, which are masonry marvels because of their structural ambience. The Taj Mahal & the Golden Temple are considered even the World Heritages. Also, the monasteries & Buddhist circuit with the rural touch are simply mesmerizing in effect. Not only the mansions and edifices, the palm-fringed beaches of Goa & Kerala are capable enough to rejuvenate anyone’s spirit & heart. Or one can transcend into another world simply by meditating on the Vivekanand Rock or in the cool and ancient Buddhist caves tunneled out of solid rocks on the craggy hillsides.
However, the spiritual India cannot be felt thoroughly until one is ready to immerse oneself into the Holy waters of the Ganges, visit at least a few of the innumerable temples and accompany a group of millions of Pilgrims kindled with the devotion & respect for their deities. Temples located at the highest of points are not able to deter the devout to reach there even in the most extreme & hazardous conditions. Amarnath, Aiyppa & Vaishnodevi, among the few temples I have visited, are considered the seats of the highest devotion.
Not only the spirituality, but the simplicity of its people across the country, what makes India so fascinating. I cannot stop marveling at the fact that here, even the natural climactic changes like the profusion of orange flowers, the shade of the banyan tree are celebrated not only to enjoy life but also to pay obeisance to the deity for their blessings and love. Festivals like Onam, Vasant Panchami & Lohri represent the dawn of New Year for harvesting. Also, the villages that one comes across while traveling by train or bus, with vast green fields, mud houses, cattle & simply clad people, give one the picture of rural but real & simple India.
However, India is not only about the Sacred temples & Holy cow. Even in the midst of all the spirituality & festivities, the vibrancy of modern & restless India cannot go unnoticed. The western & central India has all the luxury one can dream of. The numerous skyscrapers, the most luxurious hotels & innumerable shopping malls, they all give us the feel of the new and changing face India.
But, be it any part of India, it exudes the same warmth and tenderness a kid receives ensconced in its mother’s lap. It rejuvenates the tired mind & the battered soul and once again you are ready to face the new challenges, to scale the newer heights in life…And this is what tourism means to me, to get enriched by the knowledge of my own country, my own people and lead a satisfied life from dawn to dusk!!

I am alive..

A life crumbles ridden with scars
Innumerable insults, unbearable pain
Is it so dark inside, nobody can see the light?
The moment freezes
Dew drops settle on the petals of her eyes
A gipsy breeze permeates her soul
White noise pierces her ears
And she screams ”I am alive”

La Belle Dame..

Nazm Uljhee Hui Hai Seene Me
Misre Atke Hue Hai Hoto Par
UDte Phirte Hai Titliyon Ki Tarah
Lafz Kaagaz Pe Baithte Hi Nahi...
Kab Se Baitha Hua Hu Mai Jaanam
Saada Kaagaz Pe Likh Ke Naam Tera...
Bas Tera Naam Hi Muqammil Hai
Is Se Behtar Bhi Nazm Kya Hogi

--Gulzar

Death

It was such a shocking news..Doctors had given up & it was just a matter of time before the kid would be no more..How happy both the parents & their other family members were, when the kid was born. .The twinkle in its eyes brought so much joy & the touch of its tiny hands gave so much assurance that whole future looked so bright..But unfortunately, the child could not bring as much happiness with its arrival than the agony & pain it brought with its departure.. It was not the death of a kid..rather it was the death of all the dreams & expectations attached with that kid..A whole world crashed down..A heart breaking end to an untold story! The labour pain was so insignificant in front of the pain of this incorrigible loss..The mother was speechless..Her tears dry! Father was so stunned that he became emotionless..He behaved mechanically..Nothing is as heart wrenching for a father as to perform the last rites of his very own son..God is so cruel! But may be that's what we call life!!