Quest of life..

Yesterday night when I was trying real hard to get at least forty winks if not the whole night’s sleep, this amazing thought process started weaving its web in my mind..It seemed that the darkness of the room had created a void around me with no gravity..and I was swirling around like a blade of straw caught in a twister at a breakneck speed..The whole world seemed to be converging at a single point of my being as if aiming for the bull's eye with an extremely sharp dart..An eerie silence was spread all around but still there was a crescendo welling up inside my head..It was growing & growing, slowly but steadily and to the extent that my brains seemed to have exploded in pain..And then, suddenly, there was left nothing..except.. another big void!

Uff..what the hell was that? What a strange & terrible feeling that was.. I woke up all flustered with my face covered with perspiration even in this so called “Dilli ki sardi”.. I felt claustrophobic..I opened the door to my balcony, and was relieved a bit to find that even in the midst of this pitch dark night, there were still a few vagrant nocturnes who were making cheerful noises..This seemed to have quite a wonderful effect on me and those chilly blows of cold were also pretty helpful in removing the remaining bits of that uneasiness..Very soon the sanity returned and I thought it wise to get back inside & try sleeping one more time..

However, I could not sleep..i guess it was just not destined to happen last night..so I decided to analyze just what I had experienced a while ago..The reflection led to many astounding questions that were probably left forlorn, deep within, unanswered..!!

Couldn’t it be possible that the void around me was just another form of the loneliness that I go through these days..And the absence of gravity was just the resultant of the helplessness I feel, under these circumstances..? Doesn’t it reflect that all these apprehensions, worries & tensions have made me so vulnerable that the whole world seem to conspire against me..and they are all trying to get at me for no apparent reasons..? Doesn’t this piercing sound rising within me, signifies the desire to break free and reach out for what, that is yet to be attained and for which, this heart craves so desperately?

And unconsciously , at some point of time, I slipped into deep sleep..Today while writing this blog..I think, don’t such similar questions arise in all of us sometimes or the other? Don’t we all go through the same phases in life, may be at different points of time?

However one may feel..but the questions still linger on, unanswered..at least for me!!